So this post is really hard to write! I really want to share how this one simple step has changed me, and I am trying to put my heart and soul into it which makes me extra vulnerable– and I don’t do well. If it is rambling I apologize but I want to get it out so I can come back and read it months from now as a reminder! Here goes nothing!
I threw my scale away 5 months and 2 days ago today (thank you Instagram for the timeline!) It was one of the hardest things I did but I am so happy that I did it. After a conversation with my trainer where he pointed out that stressing out isn’t really helpful in weight loss (especially with me), and weighing myself daily does nothing but stress me out, he suggested that I throw my scale away!
This was at the beginning of our session and I remember saying to him “You have a point–Oh yeah I will do that” and thinking in my head at the exact same time “yeah right you are CRAZY!! Why would I ever throw my scale away.” But like many things in my life I have to process a bit longer to really think about what someone is saying to me. Luckily this one only took the hour I was at the gym and my drive home.
I walked into my house stood on that scale that I let define me for one last time looked at the number, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. Looking back I can’t believe that just that one piece of equipment, that one tool, that one square box could have such a profound effect on the way I viewed myself.
The change didn’t come immediately, and there are still days that I struggle beyond belief not having a scale in my home! The habit was ingrained in me. For weeks I would wake up and walk over to where the scale was supposed to be only to have nothing to step onto. I struggled to not run out and just buy another scale for a while. I can’t put into words what changed in me this time that caused me to just trust, just let go and not buy another one but whatever it was I am so grateful!
No longer do I have to step onto that box every morning with my eyes closed hoping that the number is less than it was the night before. Never again do I have to step up onto that scale when I come home from the gym and again before I got to bed just to see how much it had changed throughout the day. That’s three times! Three times (at least) in one day that I would weigh myself. Three moments in a day that I would inevitably be negative towards myself. Three moments each day that I have gotten back for the past 5 months because of that one simple decision I made to just throw the damn thing away!
Have I wanted to buy another one? Absolutely! Have I weighed myself when I see them in friends bathrooms? Yes. When I do the same feeling and thoughts come back– “I am not good enough– This number isn’t low enough– whats wrong with me?” I am thankful that I can finally see that this is not okay. That this feeling isn’t helping me at all!!
I do weigh myself with my trainer once every other month or so to track and I look forward to this. It is a time to see. To test out what I have been doing and how it has worked over a longer period of time. We compare the weight and body fat which is nice to see the difference in BOTH of the numbers.
I am using my other successes as my daily and weekly measurements and reminders. I look at how my clothes are fitting me. I look at the amount of time I have shaved off a mile on the elliptical. I look at the weight that I can lift on the single leg press (and how it is more than double what I used to be able to do with both legs). Most importantly I am learning to look at pictures of myself and be happy and PROUD of who I am in again.
I know the scale is a great thing for some people. I have friends that love it– it shows their progress and it is the tool they need to stay on track! I am SO not this person and I am thankful that I can finally recognize it!
Now I just need to come up with a better answer for the question “oh you look great! How much weight have you lost?” Because the current answer I want to give isn’t very polite so I just shrug my shoulders and say “I am not quite sure” while biting my tongue as to not tell them what I really want to say!
— Betty
betty Gets Fit 