Confession…

I have gained 13lbs in the past two months! 

I knew I had gained and my guess was right around 10.  Usually my guess is off and it is a few pounds less.  Well I guess this time I was off just in the other direction.  

This was a really hard pill to swallow right before working out this evening.  First I got pissed!  Pissed at myself for allowing myself to do this.  Then I got pissed at others!  Then I got pissed that I allowed others to affect me in a negative way for the first time in years.  Then mid plank I burst into tears!!! Thank God I have the worlds best trainer that knew exactly what to say in that moment and kept me together until I finished my session.  

Then…Enter the booger/snot/tears phase of the evening!  I cried for nearly an hour after leaving the gym.  I cried out of anger, fear, self hatred.  I cried because I was sad, disappointed and defeated.   I cried just about every emotion one can cry until there was nothing to cry anymore and I decided it was time to make a plan! 

My new plan- 

Step one- stop crying and stop being angry! 

Step two- refocus on what really matters… it’s not about a number Kathryn!  It’s about the inner strength.  Being proud of yourself and being able to do something that you couldn’t do 2 weeks ago! 

Step theee- take your ass to the gym tomorrow and move on!   Worry about step four tomorrow night once you have completed step three!  

So there you have it.   13 lbs, 2 months and an hour of tears and self hatred I (fingers crossed) back into the mindset I need to be in to do this!   
💕Betty